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”I wasn’t sure if that, ex­act­ly, was what Mathil­da had in mind but she cer­tain­ly had my in­ter­est. “Tit­ti­late the cus­tomers,” I asked. “Which cof­fee shop did you say this was?”“It’s not just one cof­fee shop. It’s all of them. They’re all just a bunch of smut havens.”“Well, if it’s all of them, then it sounds like what you re­al­ly want is to shut down all cof­fee hous­es.”She gave me yet an­oth­er of her sighs that was de­signed to tell me just how stupid I was. “I don’t want them to be shut down. I just want them to stop ped­dling their smut.”“Smut, Mrs. Gruff. Re­al­ly?”“Yes, re­al­ly. Those girls are sluts, and the thongs were just the be­gin­ning.”“The be­gin­ning?”Mathil­da Gruff nod­ded em­phat­i­cal­ly. She was cer­tain­ly warm­ing to her task now. “The thongs were only the be­gin­ning. I think they’re com­pet­ing with one an­oth­er, try­ing to outdo the other and I’ve been see­ing those thong girls hav­ing S-E-X.”“I see. Would that be with each other or with the. And Her VOICE was SOFT as Cotton Panties.You find PUSSY? She asked.She asked like it was a TEST of mah Knowlege.I said: YEAH. It’s what I do.She said: FOR A LIVING?I said: Nah, FOR FUN.She liked dat Response she told me lata after I had helped her find, locate and BRANG Back an ANCIENT PUSSY ARTIFACT dat Explained how Wommins Came To EARTH Before MEN!!So like I was saying.CRAYOLA BLUE (yep, thats her name cuz she liked wearing BLUE and her Mama useta work in a Crayola Factory) — had got in touch wit me thru a Nigga of a Nigga of a Nigga of ANUTHA Nigga dat I knew — and asked if I would help her with this ancient pussy artifact thang.Crayola was into collecting all dat Afrikan shit like Masks, Ivory, Clothes, Objects of Art and what not— and she heard I was one dem old, southern New Oreleans, Louisiana Niggaz dat was into da HooDoo shit.So she called me talkin bout she had an Old Collectible dealing wit da ancient Power of Pussy Essence.How old? I asked her.Bout 2,000 years old, she.
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